Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the pioneering sex therapist whose work revolutionized the conversation around sexual health and relationships, has passed away at the age of 96. She died on Friday at her home in New York City, surrounded by her family, as confirmed by her publicist and friend, Pierre Lehu. Dr. Ruth’s life was a remarkable journey marked by resilience, innovation, and an unwavering commitment to educating and empowering others.
Early Life and Survival
Born Karola Ruth Siegel on June 4, 1928, in Frankfurt, Germany, Dr. Ruth’s early years were shaped by the harrowing events of World War II. As an only child in a Jewish family, she experienced firsthand the rise of Nazism and the atrocities of the Holocaust. In 1938, during Kristallnacht, the violent anti-Jewish pogrom, her parents made the heart-wrenching decision to send her to Switzerland to ensure her safety. This act of desperation would ultimately save her life, but it also marked the last time she would see her parents, whom she later believed were killed in Auschwitz.
Dr. Ruth’s time in Switzerland was spent in an orphanage, where she faced the harsh realities of displacement and loss. Despite these challenges, she showed remarkable resilience, adapting to her new environment and seizing every opportunity to learn. Her experiences during this period instilled in her a profound empathy and a lifelong commitment to helping others.
From Palestine to New York
At the age of 16, Dr. Ruth moved to Palestine, where she joined the Haganah, the Jewish underground military organization fighting for the establishment of Israel. It was here that she received training as a sniper, a role that seemed incongruous with her later persona but highlighted her determination and courage. During her time with the Haganah, she sustained severe injuries when a bomb exploded in her dormitory, killing many of her friends. A skilled surgeon’s efforts enabled her to walk and ski again, showcasing her indomitable spirit and will to overcome adversity.
In 1950, Dr. Ruth married her first husband, an Israeli soldier, but the marriage ended in divorce in 1955. The following year, she moved to New York City with her new boyfriend, a Frenchman who became her second husband and the father of her daughter, Miriam. This marriage also ended in divorce, but it was in New York that Dr. Ruth would find her true calling.
Academic Pursuits and the Birth of Dr. Ruth
In New York, Dr. Ruth pursued her education with vigor. She earned a master’s degree in sociology from The New School in 1959 and later completed a doctorate in education from Columbia University in 1970. Her academic achievements laid the groundwork for her future career, combining her passion for education with a deep interest in human sexuality.
In 1961, Dr. Ruth met Manfred “Fred” Westheimer, a fellow refugee from Nazi Germany. The couple married and had a son, Joel. Their partnership was marked by mutual respect and support, and they remained married until Fred’s death from heart failure in 1997. Dr. Ruth often credited Fred with being a pillar of support throughout her career, enabling her to pursue her passion with unwavering dedication.
Rise to Fame: “Sexually Speaking” and Beyond
Dr. Ruth’s entry into the public eye came somewhat serendipitously. In the early 1980s, while in her 50s, she was invited to host a local radio show called “Sexually Speaking.” The show, which aired as a 15-minute segment after midnight on Sundays, featured Dr. Ruth answering listeners’ mailed-in questions about sex and relationships. Her extensive knowledge, combined with her humorous and nonjudgmental approach, quickly endeared her to listeners.
“Sexually Speaking” catapulted Dr. Ruth into the national spotlight. Her ability to discuss sex openly and frankly, using terms like “penis” and “vagina” without embarrassment, was revolutionary at a time when such topics were still considered taboo. Her distinctive giggly, German-accented voice and diminutive stature made her an unlikely but endearing figure in the realm of sex education.
The success of her radio show led to numerous opportunities. In 1983, she published her first book, “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” which became a bestseller. Over the course of her career, she authored more than 40 books, covering topics ranging from sexual health to relationships and family dynamics. Her writing was characterized by its accessibility, blending scientific information with practical advice and a touch of humor.
Dr. Ruth’s influence extended beyond the written word. She became a regular guest on late-night television talk shows, where her candid discussions about sex contrasted sharply with the more reserved norms of the time. Her media appearances coincided with the early days of the AIDS epidemic, a period that necessitated open and honest conversations about sexual health. Dr. Ruth’s straightforward approach helped demystify sex and promote safer practices, making her a vital voice in public health discourse.
Advocacy and Impact
Throughout her career, Dr. Ruth was a steadfast advocate for sexual literacy and reproductive rights. She normalized discussions about sex, emphasizing the importance of communication, consent, and education. Her advocacy extended to the LGBTQ community, particularly during the 1980s when the AIDS epidemic was at its peak. Dr. Ruth stood up for gay men, speaking out against the stigma and discrimination they faced. Her support for the LGBTQ community was rooted in her own experiences of persecution and her belief in the fundamental rights of all individuals.
Dr. Ruth’s rise to prominence occurred during a politically charged era. The Reagan administration was hostile to Planned Parenthood and aligned with conservative voices opposed to open discussions about sex. Despite this, Dr. Ruth remained a vocal ally of family planning and reproductive health. She was never one to follow trends but instead carved her own path, driven by a deep sense of justice and compassion.
Her contributions to sexual education were recognized with numerous awards and honors. Dr. Ruth received the Ellis Island Medal of Honor in 1992 and was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame in 2013. These accolades celebrated her groundbreaking work and her enduring impact on society.
A Personal Touch
Dr. Ruth’s professional achievements were complemented by her personal warmth and accessibility. She was known for her engaging personality and her genuine interest in helping others. Whether on the radio, in print, or on television, she made complex topics relatable and approachable. Her ability to connect with people from all walks of life was a testament to her empathy and communication skills.
Her life partner, Fred Westheimer, played a significant role in her success. Their relationship was built on mutual respect and support, with Fred often managing behind-the-scenes aspects of her career. Dr. Ruth frequently spoke of their partnership as one of the cornerstones of her life, providing the stability and encouragement she needed to pursue her passions.
Legacy and Final Years
In her later years, Dr. Ruth continued to be an active and influential figure. She maintained a busy schedule of speaking engagements, media appearances, and writing projects well into her 90s. Her work remained relevant as new generations discovered her insights and advice.
In 2019, Dr. Ruth was the subject of a documentary titled “Ask Dr. Ruth,” directed by Ryan White. The film chronicled her extraordinary life, from her childhood in Nazi Germany to her rise as a cultural icon. It highlighted her resilience, humor, and unwavering commitment to her mission of sexual education. The documentary introduced her to a new audience, reaffirming her status as a beloved and influential figure.
Dr. Ruth’s death at the age of 96 marks the end of an era. Her contributions to sexual education and public health have left an indelible mark on society. She transformed the way people talk about sex, making it a subject of open and honest discussion. Her legacy is one of empowerment, education, and compassion.
She is survived by her two children, Miriam and Joel, and four grandchildren. Her family, friends, and countless admirers mourn her passing but celebrate the incredible life she led. Dr. Ruth’s work will continue to inspire and educate future generations, ensuring that her impact endures.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s life was a testament to resilience, innovation, and a deep commitment to helping others. From her early years in Nazi Germany to her groundbreaking work in sexual education, she demonstrated an unwavering dedication to improving the lives of others. Her ability to discuss sensitive topics with humor and empathy made her a beloved figure, and her legacy will continue to shape the conversation around sexual health for years to come.
As we remember Dr. Ruth, we honor her contributions and celebrate the positive change she brought to the world. Her work transcended cultural and social boundaries, fostering greater understanding and acceptance. She leaves behind a rich legacy that will continue to educate, empower, and inspire. Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s life was a remarkable journey, and her memory will live on in the hearts and minds of those she touched.
